Retirement Planning: The Cover

Retirement Planning for the Utterly Confused

McGraw-Hill, January 2008

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Retirement Planning and Alchemy

I begin the second section of the book titled "Seven Misunderstandings" with a brief discussion about the alchemist. The history of this pseudo-science, archaically referred to as Ars Magna has its roots on many different continents. The practice of transmutation was practiced by the Arabs, the Chinese, the Hebrews, and the Indians.

Many believe that the nature of alchemy can be broken down into three distinct categories. Some suggest four, adopting a French term to describe the alchemists who persisted in a single quests rather than anything that might resemble scientific methodology. Called "Les Souffleurs" or blowers, their goal was almost solely for material gain.

But alchemist struggled with religious implications as much as the did with the philosophical and scientific disciplines of their profession. Because of the nature of the art form, transformation was necessary and given the time frame when alchemy arose, there was no one better at achieving such changes than the Pope himself. Unfortunately, alchemy does not lend itself to quick study.

It was far easier for the Pope to simply call it the work of the Devil. Roger Bacon, Albertus Magnus and Thomas Aquinas all supported the notion that alchemy was otherwise.

The scientific alchemist invented, discovered or were among the first to develop gunpowder, arsenic, phosphorous, a wide variety of acids and most importantly, some sort of method to prove their findings. The alchemist believed that there were "three principles - salt, sulphur and mercury and that sources of these three principles were the four elements: earth, water, fire and air". Simply boil water in a kettle and you can see how the alchemist arrived at such conclusions. After the water boiled, what was left but earth and air (in the form of steam).

Among the most notable scientists to embrace alchemy was Newton. He was an astronomer as well. In Newton's time, astrology and astronomy were one and the same for thousands of years leading up to and during Newton's time in history. Astrology and alchemy had also been intertwined for thousands of years. This made Newton's deep studies into mathematics and his related breakthrough theories in gravity and astronomy, for which he is best known, possible. Newton was a mystic and possibly an occultist but much of what he worked on was destroyed in a fire.

Is it any wonder they have been described as Sorcerers? Because of the time needed to devote to such pursuits, the philosophical alchemist arose. This alchemist searched for elixirs to prolong life or inanimate objects that would provide wisdom.

Alchemist did finally achieve some degree of notoriety when in 1935, the Nobel Prize for Chemistry was awarded to Doctors Irène Joliot-Curie and Frédéric Joliot of Paris for their synthesis of new radioactive elements carried out in partnership. In the speech given at the ceremony, Professor W. Palmaer who was serving as chairman of the Nobel Committee for Chemistry said,"

"Madame, Sir. In awarding to both of you in equal shares the Nobel Prize in Chemistry for this year, the Royal Academy of Sciences has been pleased to be able to reward, in a brilliant way, the synthesis, achieved by your united efforts, of new radioactive elements.



Thanks to your discoveries, it has become possible, for the first time, to transform artificially one element into another hitherto unknown. At last the old dream of the alchemists has become reality. Their main object, the production of gold, has been attained, though by a path, it is true, less direct than they thought would lead them there. The results of your researches are of capital importance for pure science, but in addition, physiologists, doctors, and the whole of suffering humanity hope to gain from your discoveries, remedies of inestimable value.

Retirement planning can have similar goals. We seek to transform years of hard work and toil, diligent saving and scrimping in the hope that the reward will be a comfortable, work-free lifestyle. Is this any less the work of an alchemist who tries to change one thing into another.

It is my hope that we can, in this section of the book, redirect some of the misunderstandings you might have and transform them into gold.

I leave you with this quote from Bertrand Russell: "The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts."

Retirement Planning and Misconceptions

Misconceptions live quietly on the dark side of retirement planning. These are understandable and largely forgivable human traits that are often quite innocent in their origins.

Given two pieces of information, we can often form child-like combinations, jumbling facts in a process that resembles sound thinking. In part two of the book I am writing, I discuss the idea that homes are not investments. Many of us make this mistake. And because we do, this is probably the largest preconceived notion we make about retirement planning.

This kind of conceptual misunderstanding often leads us to make unfounded assumptions about our wealth and more importantly, our plan. And because of that, it hinders our ability to make good long-term decisions.

The greatest problem facing someone who harbors many of these kinds of beliefs, of which I mention seven that can have a detrimental effect on your retirement, is the fact they tend to become a sort of gospel filled with what we believe to be undeniable truths.

Bill Beaty at the American Institute of Physics has complied a list of common scientific misconceptions that plague good understanding of our world around us. When it comes to retirement planning, the list is much shorter but with more disastrous results if not corrected in time.

But how did we get to the point where we follow what we think we know and argue so vehemently against the truth? Perhaps it was a simple as following the person who traveled the road before we did.

I am reminded of a poem by Sam Walter Foss (1858-1911) titled the Calf-Path. Mr. Foss it should be noted, was a librarian and a poet from rural New Hampshire. The poem below is not his most famous but does tend to illustrate that idea that once we are given an idea, in this case a path, we tend to take it unwittingly even if it is not the shortest distance to the place we seek.

The Calf-Path
One day, through the primeval wood,

A calf walked home, as good calves should;

But made a trail all bent askew,

A crooked trail, as all calves do.



Since then three hundred years have fled,

And, I infer, the calf is dead.


But still he left behind his trail,

And thereby hangs my moral tale.



The trail was taken up next day

By a lone dog that passed that way;

And then a wise bellwether sheep

Pursued the trail o'er vale and steep,

And drew the flock behind him, too,

As good bellwethers always do.



And from that day, o'er hill and glade,

Through those old woods a path was made,

And many men wound in and out,

And dodged and turned and bent about,

And uttered words of righteous wrath

Because 'twas such a crooked path;

But still they followed - do not laugh -


The first migrations of that calf,

And through this winding wood-way stalked

Because he wobbled when he walked.



This forest path became a lane,

That bent, and turned, and turned again.

This crooked lane became a road,

Where many a poor horse with his load

Toiled on beneath the burning sun,


And traveled some three miles in one.

And thus a century and a half

They trod the footsteps of that calf.



The years passed on in swiftness fleet.

The road became a village street,

And this, before men were aware,

A city's crowded thoroughfare,

And soon the central street was this


Of a renowned metropolis;

And men two centuries and a half

Trod in the footsteps of that calf.



Each day a hundred thousand rout

Followed that zigzag calf about,

And o'er his crooked journey went

The traffic of a continent.

A hundred thousand men were led


By one calf near three centuries dead.

They follow still his crooked way,

And lose one hundred years a day,

For thus such reverence is lent

To well-established precedent.



A moral lesson this might teach

Were I ordained and called to preach;

For men are prone to go it blind


Along the calf-paths of the mind,

And work away from sun to sun

To do what other men have done.

They follow in the beaten track,

And out and in, and forth and back,

And still their devious course pursue,

To keep the path that others do.



They keep the path a sacred groove,


Along which all their lives they move;

But how the wise old wood-gods laugh,

Who saw the first primeval calf!

Ah, many things this tale might teach -

But I am not ordained to preach.